Human identity is a fragile thing. Who am I? is a question we all ask and how we get our answer can depend on a lot of things.
Identification is a psychological process that we all engage in, some more than others. Probably all parents identity with their own children to some degree. In their biological children all mothers to some degree see their own Child ego state. The son or daughter is seen to some extent as an extension of self.
Identification is used to describe a number of processes, all of which involve confusion regarding one’s own identity and that of another person. Identity may be:
1. Extended into another, making them an extension of the self.
2. Borrowed from the other so self is identified with them.
3. Fused or confused with the other so there is no clear sense of self and other
(Tony Tilney)
1. Identity extended into the other
Identity may be extended into another, making them an extension of the self.
“I see me in you”
The identifier perceives this to be the case and the other person may know nothing about it.
2. Identity borrowed from the other.
“I see you in me”
The identifier perceives this to be the case and the other person may know nothing about it.
3. Identity confused with the other
Identity is fused or confused with the other so there is no clear sense of self and other
“We are one identity”
The identifier perceives this to be the case and the other person may know nothing about it. The identifier’s sense of self is confused with the other. They do not understand that their own Child ego state is separate from the other.
Thus we have at least three ways we can answer the question, Who am I? Three ways how we can begin to understand our self and our identity.