“When I phone you for an appointment I usually feel quite anxious and despairing. As soon as I have made the appointment it all goes away and I feel fine. Then I think I don’t need to go and see you.”
Movies can be used as a form of fantasy defence. The observer does more than just watch the movie but feels they exist in it.
The best advice for this is simply to be happy and confident in your body. Some men will find it erotic and some men wont no matter what shape or size it happens to be.
This explanation could go some of the way to answering why those who use physical violence in relationships are so hard to engage in treatment programmes. They perceive, feel and experience the use of such violence as a natural, Free Child, ego syntonic thing to do.
However it is not uncommon for people to confuse the two. For instance if a mother see’s her daughter is cutting self it is understandable how she can then conclude that the daughter is suicidal. However this is not accurate.