However as is the case with human behaviour once the script gets set the person will start to do things that promote the life script even as they protest against it.
However maybe this is not so true with every adolescent especially the 20% I am referring to. Perhaps there is just not a strong drive or need in this group of people and the assumption that all people have this need is an incorrect assumption.
People in their desire to be more in control, end up being more out of control. Paradoxically the more you let self be out of control, the more in control of self you will actually be.
When a child is in a new and unknown situation that is emotionally charged it will try and read how mother is emotionally reacting in its attempt to get a base line for itself.
It suggests that murder suicide is really a subtype of suicide. That the decision to murder others first, comes as an after thought to the decision to kill self.
If you are working with a suicidal person and their family then you know that at least some members will be supportive of the suicide from their Free Child point of view.
In my office I have a dolls house, which I use when I see children and their parents for therapy. I find it can produce valuable information about the psyche of the child. What is going on inside the child’s head at that time.
Listening to a person talk about how they cut self is stress producing for most people including therapists. The therapist needs to be clear they do not fall into subtly pressuring the client into making the contract due to their own anxieties.
A significant attachment figure was never fully internalised in childhood and thus there is a sense of a hole inside self. The therapist is used by the client to fill that hole.
If one allows the client to avoid it for long periods of time and addresses it in a very a tepid way that may empower the shame.