// by Tony White
It seems safe to say that the natural human condition is to have quite a strong ambivalence about emotional intimacy in relationship.
“I want it but it scares me”.
Hence one could argue, a key component of grief or goodbye work, is dealing with this natural ambivalence about intimacy with another.
// by Tony White
The descriptive model of ego states sometimes also known as the functional model of ego states was originally presented by Eric Berne in his book “What Do You Say After You Say Hello”.
// by Tony White
Also they may have a strong Please me driver. This person defines self according to the needs and wants of others. The intent of this driver is to obtain nurture (love, approval) and avoid abandonment (rejection, loneliness) but in doing so they present as lacking substance or lack a sense of who they are.
// by Tony White
This is important from a therapeutic point of view in that the therapist is meant to guide the person to firstly understand the question they are asking and secondly assisting the person to gain some kind of answer to it.
Psychotherapy of the antiscript stage of developmentRead More
// by Tony White
But it seems we need to have another look at the marriage type relationship as it is not working all that well for most people and we have a significant number of people living in their own domicile as individuals. And non face to face communication is very easy now compared to 50 years ago.
// by Tony White
This allows the Free Child to again be re-experienced instead of cut off and thus one gains a sense of reconnection or wholeness in the personality. Unfortunately it’s only temporary. The intense stimuli can be cutting self with a razor blade, some sexual experiences or engaging in high risk behaviour.
// by Tony White
The same testing behaviour can happen in the therapeutic relationship. Any client is already in a vulnerable and emotionally open position in therapy. Or at least that is what will have to happen soon for the person to benefit from the therapy, or little will be achieved.
// by Tony White
One does not seek to do therapy on this aspect of the personality but one embraces it and seeks to develop some kind of coexistence with it. One embraces their depression or learns to love their panic attacks one could say. It is accepted as a normal part of their thanatos. it can’t be changed even if one wanted to.
// by Tony White
It should be noted that the third muse, sleepy, is a pull to nonlife, it is not a pull towards death. These people are not suicidal in the usual sense of the word.
