In most relationships there is an asymmetry of power. Both parties do not perceive each other to be of equal power. This asymmetry is constantly changing. Some times there is just a little power difference and sometimes there is a big power difference. Some times the power difference can completely change direction. A man and …
Research into adolescent development has described the process that the young teenager uses to develop a mature sense of love. When the teenager enters into early adolescence they begin to have romantic and love feelings for another person for the first time in their life. This has been described as learning how to develop a …
Identification allows for humans to have their own vicarious experiences Definition of vicarious experience – 1. Experienced in the imagination through the feelings or actions of another 2. Experienced or realised through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another Both of these talk of imagination and thus we could say this process works …
Listening to a person talk about how they cut self is stress producing for most people including therapists. The therapist needs to be clear they do not fall into subtly pressuring the client into making the contract due to their own anxieties.
Recent research on what teenagers see as, “What makes a good person”. They were asked to rate the qualities of people who were good people. This indicates teenagers are a conventional group of people in these views. But this seems incongruent as the teenage stage is often an angry stage of storm and stress. The …
The child from the wealthy family is more likely to be left with the question – Who am I?
This makes it especially difficult for children from wealthy families who can struggle to gain a sense of who they are as the parent(s) ‘shadow’ is so large.
Halloween make up, like these pictures, allows the teenage girl to release her sublimated urges to self harm, leading to a healthy outcome.
The male teenager often thinks he can just tough it out. If he does not think about it, it will just go away, is a common viewpoint for the male teenager. As we know when there is significant feelings this does not work in the long run.
As all the new ‘romantic things’ the teenager has to do become more automatic, the teenager is then afforded the ‘psychological space’ in their head to begin to experience the other in this new way. They can begin to experience the personality of the romantic other.
If one has the opportunity it is pertinent to ask the parents about the good child in the family. The one who is not making any noise can be the one in most pain.
The teenager is meant to learn how to make wise use of his leisure time. This is psychologically important because it reflects the development of the Free Child ego state in the personality.
In essence you begin to gain a bit of respect. If the Rebellious Child starts to
respect the counsellor as a person, then the individual becomes more receptive to
the therapeutic benefits of the counselling.
Of course this has significant implications for therapists in countries like Australia. We have long been indoctrinated by the theories of Margaret Mahler and John Bowlby who both adopt a very individualistic approach in their theories. It would seem wise to be much more understanding of the communal family structures.
First, this is better for the parents (which in turn is better for the children) because there is usually more support readily available. Second, from an attachment theory point of view it is better if children are raised in a polymatric family rather than a monomatric family.
Even in death, suicide and murder there is still a childlike innocence, because they are still childlike thinkers to some degree.
When marriage occurs one marries the individual person and also marries their family structure all their attachments and relationships as well.
If she believes this (with or without his encouragement) she finds herself in the same relationship dynamics as the teenager who is not economically separate from the parents. The marriage will then suffer.