This picture shows a common thought which the eating disordered person can have. Self starvation can be about an attempt at self control and of course we also have binge eating which is out of control eating behaviour. As soon as you start to try and control the Child ego state you are eventually going …
Instead you acknowledge its power in the therapy process and begin talking to it and forming relational contact when and how it wants. You don’t have a choice to do it any other way. As Berne says, it holds all the cards to play at any time it wants.
Forget the whole testing thing and start the slow process of rebuilding the lines of communication. Hopefully it wont be too late and there are not too many deep scars left on both parent and teenager, such that a reconciliation is impossible.
The therapeutic response is clear. Get the family secret exposed and this can change family dynamics, quite profoundly at times.
When marriage occurs one marries the individual person and also marries their family structure all their attachments and relationships as well.
Some female anorexics are seeking to make their bodies (and therefore sense of self) pre pubertal.
Hence the infantile pattern of seeking relief from emotional discomfort through eating food.