Psychotherapy can in this sense be seen as a feminizing pursuit, particularly for the male.
If one can accept their flaws and bad points that is a very good psychological state of mind to be in.
The more emotionally important the relationship is to us the more we will begin to bring these insecurities into the relationship. Hence they tend to come out with our partners and in marriages.
Around the age of 4 years children are working out if they perceive self as male or female. This is not related to their sexual anatomy. Instead it is about their psychological perception of self.
When marriage occurs one marries the individual person and also marries their family structure all their attachments and relationships as well.
The therapist needs to build a special kind of relational contract with it over a period of time, and regularly maintain that contact in the therapeutic process. One has to go along with its destructiveness at times which can require some very wily and shrewd therapeutic interventions.