Around the age of 4 years children are working out if they perceive self as male or female. This is not related to their sexual anatomy. Instead it is about their psychological perception of self.
Maybe my young ex marine client has unconsciously understood the finer aspects of the relationship he has with those individuals who are the enemy and communicated that to me metaphorically. I must remember to thank him for that insight.
The problem with experiencing emotional intimacy with another is that it also frightens people.
The same testing behaviour can happen in the therapeutic relationship. Any client is already in a vulnerable and emotionally open position in therapy. Or at least that is what will have to happen soon for the person to benefit from the therapy, or little will be achieved.