• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Tony White

Psychologist

  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs
  • Monograph Series
  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs
  • Monograph Series

Therapist self versus the real self

Also if the therapy and therapist is overly sensitive and gentle then the client will tend to hyper sensitise and become ‘worse’ in that sense

January 28, 2019 //  by Tony White//  Leave a Comment

Psychotherapy is often a quite an intense emotional and relational event. There can be strong emotions expressed from the client and the relationship between client and therapist can be quite intense at times with also strong emotions being involved in it. This is OK for the client because they only have this one hour per week. But the therapist may have this 5 or 6 times a day with different clients for 4 or 5 days a week. A situation which is emotionally draining for the therapist and would quickly take its toll on the therapist if the Free Child did not protect itself.

girl-447701__340

I suggest that this is what unconsciously and inevitably happens in the therapist over time. It is automatic and the therapist cannot stop it. The Free Child in the therapist will automatically protect itself by withdrawing from the therapeutic relationship to cope with the emotional intensity of the therapy setting.

therapist self transaction Jpeg

So you end up with a situation where the client responds and relates to a therapist self that is created by the therapist. Again this is seen as a natural and inevitable thing for a therapist to do.

therapist self diagram Jpeg

The goal for the therapist is to desensitise the right amount

If they don’t desensitise then they will burn out and stop being a therapist. This therapist is overly impacted and transformed by the client.

 If they desensitise too much then PTSD like symptoms can develop (assuming they carry it into their life in general). Or they will become a clinical style of therapist where the client is just seen as a number and a means to get the pay check at the end of the week. Most clients will tend not to respond to this as the therapist will come across as cold and aloof.

If they desensitise the right amount then they become a resilient therapist who can stay in the business for long periods of time.

Resilience graph Jpeg

This works the other way as well. If the therapist and therapy are too brutal then the client’s FC will retreat in the same fashion.

Also if the therapy and therapist is overly sensitive and gentle then the client will tend to hyper sensitise and become ‘worse’ in that sense

Category: PsychotherapyTag: Ego states, Free child, resilience

Previous Post: « Fight, flight or freeze in therapy
Next Post: Is it OK for a therapist to be proud of a client’s achievements? »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Website Re-build

The website is being rebuilt at the moment. Thank you for your patience and many apologies for any inconvenience.

Recent Posts

  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Consent and power in relationships.
  • Silence and the unconscious – Part 2
  • Silence and the unconscious
  • Silence in psychotherapy
  • Permission and redecision
  • Mature love, immature love and the teenager
  • Embrace the homeless
  • Psychology of the court process
  • Psychic organs to ego states
  • Regression – defence mechanism & natural human process
  • Two types or levels of life script change
  • Identification – Post 2
  • Identification – Post 1
  • Self control. Therapeutic implications
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 4
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 3
  • Adult ego state strengthening – post 2

Recent Comments

  • Irina on Social development – History taking
  • Joseph on How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Kahless on The Demon sub personality (Aka Lillith)
  • Kahless on How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Kahless on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Tony White on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Kahless on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious – Part 2
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious

Blog Archive

  • December 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • February 2021
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • September 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • November 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • August 2013

Copyright © 2023 · Mai Lifestyle Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in