• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Tony White

Psychologist

  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs
  • Monograph Series
  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs
  • Monograph Series

Features of rackets

Anger is a distancing emotion it pushes people apart. When people want distance in a relationship anger can be used to achieve this

March 16, 2018 //  by Tony White//  1 Comment

Anger is a distancing emotion it pushes people apart. When people want distance in a relationship anger can be used to achieve this. This makes it very important in the adolescent stage of development when the teenager is trying to break away from the primary attachment figures, the parents.

Anger racket

Real feeling = Free Child

Racket = Rebellious Child  and  Critical Parent

Life position: At self = I’m not OK

At others = You’re not OK

At both  = I’m not OK, You’re not OK

Passive behaviour =  violence or agitation

Relational problem = fear of closeness or dependence.

Emo

Emo culture is an interesting

combination of sad and angry

Sadness and scare are attracting emotions in that they tend to pull people together. If one looks sad or scared most people will feel some kind of sympathy and seek to help the person. They move towards the person, unlike with anger.

But it is time limited as it is also draining on the other. If the sadness or scare continues then the Free Child of the other will want to move away from the person so it then becomes a distancing emotion. One way to keep people away is be depressed all the time. Unless of course the other is a rescuer then the victim rescuer relationship can continue on for many years.

Sad racket

Real feeling =  Free Child

Racket = Conforming Child and Rescuing Parent

Life position: At self = I’m not OK

Passive behaviour = incapacitation

Relational problem = fear of independence

Scare racket

Real feeling =  Free Child

Racket = Conforming Child

Life position: At self = I’m not OK

At others = You’re not OK

At both  = I’m not OK, You’re not OK

Passive behaviour = incapacitation

Relational problem = fear of independence

 

Happy is an attracting emotion in relationships. Others like it and it is nice to be around and hence gets lots of positive strokes. It also tends to be rejuvenating for the other so others do not tend to get tired of it and eventually move away as with sadness.

Joy happiness racket

Real feeling =  Free Child

Racket = Conforming Child

Life position:  At self = I’m not OK

Passive behaviour =  over adaptation

Relational problem = fear of one’s own needs

 

Category: child developmentTag: emotions, feelings

Previous Post: « Working through scared feelings.
Next Post: Developmental problems for the child from the affluent family »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. David Foster

    March 17, 2018 at 5:06 am

    Very helpful and insightful. As a grandfather living with a soon to be teenager it is particularly helpful.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Website Re-build

The website is being rebuilt at the moment. Thank you for your patience and many apologies for any inconvenience.

Recent Posts

  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Consent and power in relationships.
  • Silence and the unconscious – Part 2
  • Silence and the unconscious
  • Silence in psychotherapy
  • Permission and redecision
  • Mature love, immature love and the teenager
  • Embrace the homeless
  • Psychology of the court process
  • Psychic organs to ego states
  • Regression – defence mechanism & natural human process
  • Two types or levels of life script change
  • Identification – Post 2
  • Identification – Post 1
  • Self control. Therapeutic implications
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 4
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 3
  • Adult ego state strengthening – post 2

Recent Comments

  • Irina on Social development – History taking
  • Joseph on How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Kahless on The Demon sub personality (Aka Lillith)
  • Kahless on How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Kahless on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Tony White on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Kahless on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious – Part 2
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious

Blog Archive

  • December 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • February 2021
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • September 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • November 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • August 2013

Copyright © 2023 · Mai Lifestyle Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in