• Menu
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Tony White

Psychologist

  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs
  • Monograph Series
  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs
  • Monograph Series

Family system drug addict

For a family system drug user it is actually a good thing, as it is easier for the person to eventually stop using the drug.

August 31, 2018 //  by Tony White//  Leave a Comment

In working with drug and alcohol addiction one not uncommonly hears the person report that they were the black sheep in the family. They were the problem child in the family and other siblings were the ‘good’ child(ren) and often they can be quite successful in their lives at least at a practical level like in their eduction or careers. In family therapy this problem child is referred to as the ‘identified patient’. The family structure is designed such that it needs one member to be a problem which they all discuss, worry about, be critical of, compare to the good children and so forth. 

This can be seen as a variant of an epi script. The other family members need the child to be self destructive but not necessarily for them to avoid their own self destructiveness.

This is not really a drug addiction in that the drug user does not become so psychologically dependent on the drug as a true drug addict would. The family system drug addict will use the drug in an addictive fashion because that is what they have to do to fulfil their role in that family. Of course all of this is not in conscious awareness of the family members. 

Every one of us do this, we all have an unstated (usually) psychological role in our family. Most often it does not involve being self destructive so it is never noticed as such a thing. All families have the funny one, the caring one, the smart one, the musical one, the pretty one, the social one, the sporty one, the nerdy one and so on. 

dfamily1

For a family system drug user it is actually a good thing, as it is easier for the person to eventually stop using the drug. The true drug addict when they stop using find it very hard not to re use and they will talk about ‘hanging out’ for the drug. The drive for them to re use is very strong and persistent and most often they do. The family system drug addict when they stop using will not report the same ‘hanging out’ feeling and report that there are significant periods when they don’t even think about the drug and feeling high. The true drug addict will think often and long about the drug and using. It is much harder for them not to have it in their mind. 

If the family system drug user eventually moves away from their family and has little contact the need to keep using the drug subsides and often they will stop using for significant periods of time. It is easier for them to stop than the true drug addict.

Adds family

I came across an interesting variant of this family system drug addict the other day.

A man reported that his father many times spoke about his (the son’s) drug problem in front of him to other family members. He reported that his father did this so as to elicit sympathy and support from other family members. Again we can see how family dynamics played a role in his addiction. 

One however in this instance could diagnose the father with Munchausen syndrome by proxy. The father encourages the unhealthy behaviour (habitual drug use) in the son so that the father can get the attention usually given to a ‘patient’ or a harmed person. 

This throws interesting insight onto the concept of the co dependent or the enabler as they are called. The long suffering and complaining wife about her husband who drinks alcohol to excess may at times be displaying Munchausen syndrome by proxy herself.

Category: AddictionTag: addiction, alcohol, drug addiction, family system, munchausen syndrome by proxy

Previous Post: « Evidence based psychotherapy
Next Post: Belief and thinking »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Website Re-build

The website is being rebuilt at the moment. Thank you for your patience and many apologies for any inconvenience.

Recent Posts

  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Consent and power in relationships.
  • Silence and the unconscious – Part 2
  • Silence and the unconscious
  • Silence in psychotherapy
  • Permission and redecision
  • Mature love, immature love and the teenager
  • Embrace the homeless
  • Psychology of the court process
  • Psychic organs to ego states
  • Regression – defence mechanism & natural human process
  • Two types or levels of life script change
  • Identification – Post 2
  • Identification – Post 1
  • Self control. Therapeutic implications
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 4
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 3
  • Adult ego state strengthening – post 2

Recent Comments

  • Irina on Social development – History taking
  • Joseph on How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Kahless on The Demon sub personality (Aka Lillith)
  • Kahless on How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Kahless on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Tony White on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Kahless on Consent and power in relationships.
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious – Part 2
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious
  • Kahless on Silence and the unconscious

Blog Archive

  • December 2021
  • August 2021
  • July 2021
  • February 2021
  • October 2020
  • September 2020
  • August 2020
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • January 2020
  • September 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • October 2018
  • September 2018
  • August 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • November 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • August 2013

Copyright © 2023 · Mai Lifestyle Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in