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Tony White

Psychologist

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  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs
  • Monograph Series

child development

Naming a child

December 12, 2015 //  by Tony White

Naming a child after a family member or a famous person can be a particularly hazardous task. If a chid is named after uncle Harry, that is all good and well, except that uncle Harry was a boozer and a womaniser. The child is being given that label to wear for its life time.

Naming a childRead More

Category: child development, familyTag: adult ego state, life script

Violence and personality

November 5, 2015 //  by Tony White

This explanation could go some of the way to answering why those who use physical violence in relationships are so hard to engage in treatment programmes. They perceive, feel and experience the use of such violence as a natural, Free Child, ego syntonic thing to do.

Violence and personalityRead More

Category: child development, PersonalityTag: child development, Ego states, violence

Halloween and violent fantasy

October 31, 2015 //  by Tony White

Halloween make up, like these pictures, allows the teenage girl to release her sublimated urges to self harm, leading to a healthy outcome.

Halloween and violent fantasyRead More

Category: child development, self harm, teenagerTag: Ego states, self harm, violent

Adolescence, anger and what to do

October 12, 2015 //  by Tony White

Behind the fun loving rule breakers are a group with quite conventional views who are quite conforming to their peers. More than the average adult.

Adolescence, anger and what to doRead More

Category: child development, experimentationTag: anger, love, teenager

Fantasy stage of child development

September 27, 2015 //  by Tony White

This part of the personality is engaged with things like the Harry Potter stories. It can also be found in Batman with characters like the Penguin and the Joker. They are presented as mischievous, irreverent and yet appealing characters.

Fantasy stage of child developmentRead More

Category: child development, PersonalityTag: child development, Ego states, Transactional analysis

Adolescence, anger and what to do

September 26, 2015 //  by Tony White

If this is happening the therapist again must be open to the idea that mother or father secretly delight in the angry self destructive acts of the teenager. This allows the mother or father to avoid the expression of their own self destructiveness.

Adolescence, anger and what to doRead More

Category: child development, ego states, familyTag: anger, parents response, teenager

School refusal or school phobia

September 25, 2015 //  by Tony White

The child refuses to go to school or demonstrates repeated illnesses in an attempt to avoid school.

School refusal or school phobiaRead More

Category: child development, Dependency, familyTag: bed wetting, clining behaviour, nightmares, school phobia

Life script messages – drivers and injunctions

September 8, 2015 //  by Tony White

The more emotionally important the relationship is to us the more we will begin to bring these insecurities into the relationship. Hence they tend to come out with our partners and in marriages.

Life script messages – drivers and injunctionsRead More

Category: child development, identityTag: child development, injunction, life script

Maternal motivations and the Don’t be separate injunction

September 7, 2015 //  by Tony White

There has been found to be four common motivators for a mother to tell a child not to separate from her. This shows how the injunction comes from the mother’s own needy Child ego state wants and desires.

Maternal motivations and the Don’t be separate injunctionRead More

Category: child development, Child ego state, familyTag: life script, over protection, parental need

The role of magical thinking in suicide risk assessment

July 11, 2015 //  by Tony White

Obviously if one is doing a suicide risk assessment they need to assess how much A1 thinking is going on for the person and how influential it is as the executive of the personality. The more it is the higher the imminent risk of suicide.

The role of magical thinking in suicide risk assessmentRead More

Category: child development, suicideTag: adult ego state, magical thinking, Suicide risk assessment

Games children play – Happy to help

June 15, 2015 //  by Tony White

Sometimes it is the only position left in the family. As a new child enters the family and grows into it he has to find where he fits. The parents have the Parent and Adult ego states covered and a sibling may have the outspoken, demanding position taken so the ‘happy to help’ good child position is the only one left.

Games children play – Happy to helpRead More

Category: child development, parenting, PersonalityTag: anxiety, child development, conforming child, family structure

Two levels of assertion training

March 20, 2015 //  by Tony White

It is said that the 3 year old is assentive whilst the 4 year old is assertive. People with assertion problems maybe fixated at this stage.

Two levels of assertion trainingRead More

Category: child development, familyTag: Assertion training, child development, individuation, separation

Smacking children and the power differential

December 23, 2014 //  by Tony White

I am not arguing for or against laws about smacking of children. What I am saying is that at some point it has to stop. Using the law to take away more power from the parents simply leaves a child feeling more insecure.

Smacking children and the power differentialRead More

Category: child development, society valuesTag: children, power, smacking

Psychological strokes

October 12, 2014 //  by Tony White

Transactional analysis theory of strokes is central to the basics of the theory

Psychological strokesRead More

Category: child development, parenting, PersonalityTag: negative strokes, strokes, Transactional analysis

Please me driver

October 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

Please me driver and personality

Please me driverRead More

Category: child development, PersonalityTag: compliance, driver, please me

Black and white thinking – Normal and abnormal.

September 24, 2014 //  by Tony White

The literature on black and white thinking often carries some confusion about the explanation of what it is. Or more correctly what are the underlying psychological causes that result in a person displaying this childlike type of thinking.

Black and white thinking – Normal and abnormal.Read More

Category: child development, Child ego state, dissociation, ego statesTag: A1 ego state, adult ego state, Black and white thinking, borderline personality, cognitive development

Adolescence – the leaving home stage of development

September 20, 2014 //  by Tony White

When marriage occurs one marries the individual person and also marries their family structure all their attachments and relationships as well.

Adolescence – the leaving home stage of developmentRead More

Category: Addiction, child development, Eating disorder, identity, Marriage, teenagerTag: adolescence, child development, teenager

The psychological need for violent images

August 21, 2014 //  by Tony White

The human psyche is no different. When we see violent images we naturally desensitise and after recuperation we come back mentally stronger. It all a matter of degree.

The psychological need for violent imagesRead More

Category: child development, Social developmentTag: desensitisation, violence

Children – winners & losers

July 30, 2014 //  by Tony White

Discounting a child’s perception of reality. I was doing some mother-son therapy the other day. As a consequence of our discussions she asked if I would put my views in writing. I was informed by mother that at the boy’s school in years 1 to 3 they do not have winning and loosing. When the …

Children – winners & losersRead More

Category: child development, Personality, Social developmentTag: adult ego state, child, competition, discounting

The bully victim dynamic

July 21, 2014 //  by Tony White

The solution being suggested here is reflective of one of the main parenting problems in current day society. How and when do you let a child suffer on its own?

The bully victim dynamicRead More

Category: bully, child development, RelationshipTag: bully, child, relationships

The three ego state integrative model

July 17, 2014 //  by Tony White

In essence the Parent and Child ego states free up the Adult to engage in higher level cognitive functions and relationship skills. Indeed the Adult ego state is dependent on having active Parent and Child ego states influencing it.

The three ego state integrative modelRead More

Category: child development, ego statesTag: child development, Ego states, fixation, introjection

Who am I? Therapeutic consequences.

June 22, 2014 //  by Tony White

Also they may have a strong Please me driver. This person defines self according to the needs and wants of others. The intent of this driver is to obtain nurture (love, approval) and avoid abandonment (rejection, loneliness) but in doing so they present as lacking substance or lack a sense of who they are.

Who am I? Therapeutic consequences.Read More

Category: child development, ego statesTag: Antiscript, child development, identity, please me, teenager

Psychotherapy of the antiscript stage of development

June 19, 2014 //  by Tony White

This is important from a therapeutic point of view in that the therapist is meant to guide the person to firstly understand the question they are asking and secondly assisting the person to gain some kind of answer to it.

Psychotherapy of the antiscript stage of developmentRead More

Category: child development, experimentation, PsychotherapyTag: Antiscript, logotherapy, psychotherapy

Therapy of self destructiveness

June 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

One does not seek to do therapy on this aspect of the personality but one embraces it and seeks to develop some kind of coexistence with it. One embraces their depression or learns to love their panic attacks one could say. It is accepted as a normal part of their thanatos. it can’t be changed even if one wanted to.

Therapy of self destructivenessRead More

Category: child development, counselling, UncategorizedTag: Adapted child, child development, Free child, life script, self destruction, thanatos

Sleepy as part of the Free Child

June 3, 2014 //  by Tony White

It should be noted that the third muse, sleepy, is a pull to nonlife, it is not a pull towards death. These people are not suicidal in the usual sense of the word.

Sleepy as part of the Free ChildRead More

Category: child development, counselling, Psychotherapy, TheoryTag: counselling, Free child, nonlife

The formation of life positions

May 26, 2014 //  by Tony White

If the child never resolves its state of primary narcissism then it will never adopt one of these five positions and remains as I+U? or I-U?, which is typical of the narcissistic, borderline and some anti social personalities.

The formation of life positionsRead More

Category: child development, Life positionTag: borderline siblings, narcissism, siblings, Transactional analysis

Social development – History taking

May 22, 2014 //  by Tony White

They are barriers people often use to avoid getting into relationships. There are many and varied reasons why people avoid forming an intimate relationships with a mate.

Social development – History takingRead More

Category: child development, Psychotherapy, Social developmentTag: adolescence, adulthood, history taking, isolation, redecision, therapy

Idealization and introjection

May 16, 2014 //  by Tony White

This also highlights the process of hero worship as a psychological phenomena and how it influences our personality development.

Idealization and introjectionRead More

Category: child development, Parent ego state, TheoryTag: child development, hero worship, idealisation, introjection, parent ego state

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