Naming a child after a family member or a famous person can be a particularly hazardous task. If a chid is named after uncle Harry, that is all good and well, except that uncle Harry was a boozer and a womaniser. The child is being given that label to wear for its life time.
Violence and personality
This explanation could go some of the way to answering why those who use physical violence in relationships are so hard to engage in treatment programmes. They perceive, feel and experience the use of such violence as a natural, Free Child, ego syntonic thing to do.
Halloween and violent fantasy
Halloween make up, like these pictures, allows the teenage girl to release her sublimated urges to self harm, leading to a healthy outcome.
Adolescence, anger and what to do
Behind the fun loving rule breakers are a group with quite conventional views who are quite conforming to their peers. More than the average adult.
Fantasy stage of child development
This part of the personality is engaged with things like the Harry Potter stories. It can also be found in Batman with characters like the Penguin and the Joker. They are presented as mischievous, irreverent and yet appealing characters.
Adolescence, anger and what to do
If this is happening the therapist again must be open to the idea that mother or father secretly delight in the angry self destructive acts of the teenager. This allows the mother or father to avoid the expression of their own self destructiveness.
School refusal or school phobia
The child refuses to go to school or demonstrates repeated illnesses in an attempt to avoid school.
Life script messages – drivers and injunctions
The more emotionally important the relationship is to us the more we will begin to bring these insecurities into the relationship. Hence they tend to come out with our partners and in marriages.
Maternal motivations and the Don’t be separate injunction
There has been found to be four common motivators for a mother to tell a child not to separate from her. This shows how the injunction comes from the mother’s own needy Child ego state wants and desires.
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The role of magical thinking in suicide risk assessment
Obviously if one is doing a suicide risk assessment they need to assess how much A1 thinking is going on for the person and how influential it is as the executive of the personality. The more it is the higher the imminent risk of suicide.
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Games children play – Happy to help
Sometimes it is the only position left in the family. As a new child enters the family and grows into it he has to find where he fits. The parents have the Parent and Adult ego states covered and a sibling may have the outspoken, demanding position taken so the ‘happy to help’ good child position is the only one left.
Two levels of assertion training
It is said that the 3 year old is assentive whilst the 4 year old is assertive. People with assertion problems maybe fixated at this stage.
Smacking children and the power differential
I am not arguing for or against laws about smacking of children. What I am saying is that at some point it has to stop. Using the law to take away more power from the parents simply leaves a child feeling more insecure.
Transactional analysis theory of strokes is central to the basics of the theory
Please me driver
Please me driver and personality
Black and white thinking – Normal and abnormal.
The literature on black and white thinking often carries some confusion about the explanation of what it is. Or more correctly what are the underlying psychological causes that result in a person displaying this childlike type of thinking.
Adolescence – the leaving home stage of development
When marriage occurs one marries the individual person and also marries their family structure all their attachments and relationships as well.
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The psychological need for violent images
The human psyche is no different. When we see violent images we naturally desensitise and after recuperation we come back mentally stronger. It all a matter of degree.
Children – winners & losers
Discounting a child’s perception of reality. I was doing some mother-son therapy the other day. As a consequence of our discussions she asked if I would put my views in writing. I was informed by mother that at the boy’s school in years 1 to 3 they do not have winning and loosing. When the …
The bully victim dynamic
The solution being suggested here is reflective of one of the main parenting problems in current day society. How and when do you let a child suffer on its own?
The three ego state integrative model
In essence the Parent and Child ego states free up the Adult to engage in higher level cognitive functions and relationship skills. Indeed the Adult ego state is dependent on having active Parent and Child ego states influencing it.
Who am I? Therapeutic consequences.
Also they may have a strong Please me driver. This person defines self according to the needs and wants of others. The intent of this driver is to obtain nurture (love, approval) and avoid abandonment (rejection, loneliness) but in doing so they present as lacking substance or lack a sense of who they are.
Psychotherapy of the antiscript stage of development
This is important from a therapeutic point of view in that the therapist is meant to guide the person to firstly understand the question they are asking and secondly assisting the person to gain some kind of answer to it.
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Therapy of self destructiveness
One does not seek to do therapy on this aspect of the personality but one embraces it and seeks to develop some kind of coexistence with it. One embraces their depression or learns to love their panic attacks one could say. It is accepted as a normal part of their thanatos. it can’t be changed even if one wanted to.
Sleepy as part of the Free Child
It should be noted that the third muse, sleepy, is a pull to nonlife, it is not a pull towards death. These people are not suicidal in the usual sense of the word.
The formation of life positions
If the child never resolves its state of primary narcissism then it will never adopt one of these five positions and remains as I+U? or I-U?, which is typical of the narcissistic, borderline and some anti social personalities.
Social development – History taking
They are barriers people often use to avoid getting into relationships. There are many and varied reasons why people avoid forming an intimate relationships with a mate.
Idealization and introjection
This also highlights the process of hero worship as a psychological phenomena and how it influences our personality development.