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Tony White

Psychologist

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  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs

Blogs

The combat transaction

April 18, 2015 //  by Tony White

Maybe my young ex marine client has unconsciously understood the finer aspects of the relationship he has with those individuals who are the enemy and communicated that to me metaphorically. I must remember to thank him for that insight.

The combat transactionRead More

Category: intimacy, RelationshipTag: hate, intimacy, transaction, war

Three ways of using transference in therapy

March 27, 2015 //  by Tony White

The client is then asked to respond to the therapist, who is now seen as say mother, in a way they always wanted to, but never did as a child. For instance the client may have been angry at mother but never expressed it, or they only expressed it in a passive aggressive way.

Three ways of using transference in therapyRead More

Category: Psychotherapy, Relationship, UncategorizedTag: counter transference, psychotherapy, transference

Two levels of assertion training

March 20, 2015 //  by Tony White

It is said that the 3 year old is assentive whilst the 4 year old is assertive. People with assertion problems maybe fixated at this stage.

Two levels of assertion trainingRead More

Category: child development, familyTag: Assertion training, child development, individuation, separation

Characteristics of transference

March 13, 2015 //  by Tony White

Transference neurosis refers to the situation in psychotherapy where the client will establish the same type and pattern of relationship with the therapist that he had with his original mother and father.

Characteristics of transferenceRead More

Category: counselling, Psychotherapy, RelationshipTag: Ego states, therapy, transference

Paranoid personality treatment planning

March 7, 2015 //  by Tony White

The paranoid wont respect the therapist (see them as having a potency) unless they prove themselves to be a good thinker, that can at least match the paranoid in this way.

Paranoid personality treatment planningRead More

Category: Addiction, oral stage, PersonalityTag: addiction, layered feelings, paranoid personality

The graffiti movement as a sociological force

March 3, 2015 //  by Tony White

When they first started they scared us, so we fought back as we usually do by using the police to maintain order and keep people under control and behaving properly. But this group of young people did not stop. We started to discover how powerful they were

The graffiti movement as a sociological forceRead More

Category: graffitiTag: graffiti, sociology

Getting over it and A1 thinking

February 24, 2015 //  by Tony White

A1 Black and white thinking. She is a bad person for hurting me. Behaviour can be the person.

A2 thinking can understand that all people are good and some just have unproductive behaviour or behaviour that hurts others. Behaviour is bad not the person.

Getting over it and A1 thinkingRead More

Category: Child ego state, parenting, PsychotherapyTag: counselling, forgiveness, fundamentalist thinking, magical thinking

Five ways to ego state diagnosis

February 22, 2015 //  by Tony White

Eric Berne listed four ways of recognising ego states and as we know a fifth way (contextual diagnosis) has since been added.

Five ways to ego state diagnosisRead More

Category: ego states, PersonalityTag: ego state diagnosis, eric berne

Hurried child and OCD

February 16, 2015 //  by Tony White

The condition of OCD can sometimes result from being raised in a hurried child environment as a youngster. The child develops chronic anxiety and this manifests as OCD in adulthood. The anxiety residing in the person becomes expressed in some kind of obsessions and compulsions as they grow older.

Hurried child and OCDRead More

Category: Dependency, PsychotherapyTag: anxiety, magical thinking, OCD

The romantic world of the teenager

February 15, 2015 //  by Tony White

As all the new ‘romantic things’ the teenager has to do become more automatic, the teenager is then afforded the ‘psychological space’ in their head to begin to experience the other in this new way. They can begin to experience the personality of the romantic other.

The romantic world of the teenagerRead More

Category: Relationship, romance, teenagerTag: development, relationship, romance, teenager

Suicide – homicide

January 29, 2015 //  by Tony White

People can use a car to act out their suicidal urges and drive at high speed into a solid object. This is then an expression of suicidal urges. However there are others who will drive such that their own and others lives are put at risk and some times people are killed. This is different as it is an expression of homicidal – suicidal urges.

Suicide – homicideRead More

Category: society values, suicideTag: homicide, suicide

Teenagers, parents and alcohol.

January 21, 2015 //  by Tony White

Forget the whole testing thing and start the slow process of rebuilding the lines of communication. Hopefully it wont be too late and there are not too many deep scars left on both parent and teenager, such that a reconciliation is impossible.

Teenagers, parents and alcohol.Read More

Category: drug, Eating disorder, parentingTag: alcohol, Parenting, teenager

Further aspects of drug use ambivalence

January 20, 2015 //  by Tony White

However there is quite a sizeable group (most people) who use drugs and alcohol in a non problematic way. They use drugs and alcohol such that their life script is not advanced and their relationships are not damaged in any significant way.

Further aspects of drug use ambivalenceRead More

Category: Dependency, drug, ego statesTag: ambivalence, drug use, Ego states

The two sides of goodbye work

January 19, 2015 //  by Tony White

Full contact in relationships is something that many humans seek but at the same time can be frightening. It seems safe to say that the natural human condition is to have quite a strong ambivalence about emotional intimacy in relationship.

The two sides of goodbye workRead More

Category: grief, Relationship, society valuesTag: grief, here and now, therapy

Authority problem and the good child in the family

January 18, 2015 //  by Tony White

If one has the opportunity it is pertinent to ask the parents about the good child in the family. The one who is not making any noise can be the one in most pain.

Authority problem and the good child in the familyRead More

Category: counselling, family, teenagerTag: authority problem, rebellious child, teenager

Men, women and attraction

January 4, 2015 //  by Tony White

A man will usually use a woman as a trophy because of his own insecurities and magical thinking as this diagram shows. He has doubts about his own worth and OKness.

Men, women and attractionRead More

Category: Relationship, society valuesTag: beauty, dating, romance, sexual attaraction

Christmas leisure time

December 24, 2014 //  by Tony White

The teenager is meant to learn how to make wise use of his leisure time. This is psychologically important because it reflects the development of the Free Child ego state in the personality.

Christmas leisure timeRead More

Category: Social development, society values, teenagerTag: Free child, leisure, teenager

Smacking children and the power differential

December 23, 2014 //  by Tony White

I am not arguing for or against laws about smacking of children. What I am saying is that at some point it has to stop. Using the law to take away more power from the parents simply leaves a child feeling more insecure.

Smacking children and the power differentialRead More

Category: child development, society valuesTag: children, power, smacking

Reverse psychology as a therapeutic approach

December 11, 2014 //  by Tony White

I had refused to engage her RC therapy and instead suggested some Free Child activity we could do. Maybe that had allowed her to at last discover that her Free Child didn’t want to smoke anymore.

Reverse psychology as a therapeutic approachRead More

Category: Addiction, Child ego state, Dependency, PsychotherapyTag: addiction, drug, rebellious child, smoking, therapy

Working with the Conforming Child, Rebellious Child and Free Child ego states

December 6, 2014 //  by Tony White

In essence you begin to gain a bit of respect. If the Rebellious Child starts to
respect the counsellor as a person, then the individual becomes more receptive to
the therapeutic benefits of the counselling.

Working with the Conforming Child, Rebellious Child and Free Child ego statesRead More

Category: Child ego state, Psychotherapy, teenagerTag: Ego states, rebellion, therapy

Adolescence, collectivism and individualism

December 2, 2014 //  by Tony White

Of course this has significant implications for therapists in countries like Australia. We have long been indoctrinated by the theories of Margaret Mahler and John Bowlby who both adopt a very individualistic approach in their theories. It would seem wise to be much more understanding of the communal family structures.

Adolescence, collectivism and individualismRead More

Category: family, society values, teenagerTag: family, teenager

Two models of adolescent development

November 6, 2014 //  by Tony White

First, this is better for the parents (which in turn is better for the children) because there is usually more support readily available. Second, from an attachment theory point of view it is better if children are raised in a polymatric family rather than a monomatric family.

Two models of adolescent developmentRead More

Category: family, society values, teenagerTag: adolescence, collectivism, family structure, individualism

To go, where no man has gone before

November 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

It seems people like the whale sitter are the sign of a healthy society. A sign there are people in our society who will – Go where no man has gone before!

To go, where no man has gone beforeRead More

Category: experimentation, Social development, society valuesTag: adventure, whale

Teenagers, death and dying

October 25, 2014 //  by Tony White

Even in death, suicide and murder there is still a childlike innocence, because they are still childlike thinkers to some degree.

Teenagers, death and dyingRead More

Category: experimentation, suicide, teenagerTag: murder, suicide, teen killers

Understanding the opposite sex.

October 22, 2014 //  by Tony White

Carl Jung was big on this idea. He said that a husband learns to see the women’s perspective because over time he introjects the wife’s personality into his own.

Understanding the opposite sex.Read More

Category: Marriage, Psychotherapy, RelationshipTag: female, male, Marriage

The family secret

October 14, 2014 //  by Tony White

The therapeutic response is clear. Get the family secret exposed and this can change family dynamics, quite profoundly at times.

The family secretRead More

Category: counselling, Eating disorder, family, systems theoryTag: family dynamics, family secret, family structure, Family therapy

Psychological strokes

October 12, 2014 //  by Tony White

Transactional analysis theory of strokes is central to the basics of the theory

Psychological strokesRead More

Category: child development, parenting, PersonalityTag: negative strokes, strokes, Transactional analysis

Please me driver

October 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

Please me driver and personality

Please me driverRead More

Category: child development, PersonalityTag: compliance, driver, please me

Drivers & life script

October 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

Characteristics of drivers in the life script

Drivers & life scriptRead More

Category: Personality, TheoryTag: Drivers, life script, Transactional analysis

Child psychotherapy – competition

September 25, 2014 //  by Tony White

This is one of those articles where you begin writing something and end up writing about something completely different. I was going to write about children and black and white thinking but ended up writing about a recent sessions I did with two children and their mother.

Child psychotherapy – competitionRead More

Category: counselling, ego states, Life position, parentingTag: Child psychotherapy, competition, Free child, Parenting

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Recent Posts

  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • Deconfusion of the Child ego state
  • How I became a child psychotherapist
  • Consent and power in relationships.
  • Silence and the unconscious – Part 2
  • Silence and the unconscious
  • Silence in psychotherapy
  • Permission and redecision
  • Mature love, immature love and the teenager
  • Embrace the homeless
  • Psychology of the court process
  • Psychic organs to ego states
  • Regression – defence mechanism & natural human process
  • Two types or levels of life script change
  • Identification – Post 2
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  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 4
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 3
  • Adult ego state strengthening – post 2

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  • Tony White on Consent and power in relationships.
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