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Tony White

Psychologist

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  • Home
  • Profile
    • Professional History
    • Professional Services
    • About Me
    • Training & Work Background
  • Books
  • Journals
  • Blogs

Blogs

Hurried child and OCD

February 16, 2015 //  by Tony White

The condition of OCD can sometimes result from being raised in a hurried child environment as a youngster. The child develops chronic anxiety and this manifests as OCD in adulthood. The anxiety residing in the person becomes expressed in some kind of obsessions and compulsions as they grow older.

Hurried child and OCDRead More

Category: Dependency, PsychotherapyTag: anxiety, magical thinking, OCD

The romantic world of the teenager

February 15, 2015 //  by Tony White

As all the new ‘romantic things’ the teenager has to do become more automatic, the teenager is then afforded the ‘psychological space’ in their head to begin to experience the other in this new way. They can begin to experience the personality of the romantic other.

The romantic world of the teenagerRead More

Category: Relationship, romance, teenagerTag: development, relationship, romance, teenager

Suicide – homicide

January 29, 2015 //  by Tony White

People can use a car to act out their suicidal urges and drive at high speed into a solid object. This is then an expression of suicidal urges. However there are others who will drive such that their own and others lives are put at risk and some times people are killed. This is different as it is an expression of homicidal – suicidal urges.

Suicide – homicideRead More

Category: society values, suicideTag: homicide, suicide

Teenagers, parents and alcohol.

January 21, 2015 //  by Tony White

Forget the whole testing thing and start the slow process of rebuilding the lines of communication. Hopefully it wont be too late and there are not too many deep scars left on both parent and teenager, such that a reconciliation is impossible.

Teenagers, parents and alcohol.Read More

Category: drug, Eating disorder, parentingTag: alcohol, Parenting, teenager

Further aspects of drug use ambivalence

January 20, 2015 //  by Tony White

However there is quite a sizeable group (most people) who use drugs and alcohol in a non problematic way. They use drugs and alcohol such that their life script is not advanced and their relationships are not damaged in any significant way.

Further aspects of drug use ambivalenceRead More

Category: Dependency, drug, ego statesTag: ambivalence, drug use, Ego states

The two sides of goodbye work

January 19, 2015 //  by Tony White

Full contact in relationships is something that many humans seek but at the same time can be frightening. It seems safe to say that the natural human condition is to have quite a strong ambivalence about emotional intimacy in relationship.

The two sides of goodbye workRead More

Category: grief, Relationship, society valuesTag: grief, here and now, therapy

Authority problem and the good child in the family

January 18, 2015 //  by Tony White

If one has the opportunity it is pertinent to ask the parents about the good child in the family. The one who is not making any noise can be the one in most pain.

Authority problem and the good child in the familyRead More

Category: counselling, family, teenagerTag: authority problem, rebellious child, teenager

Men, women and attraction

January 4, 2015 //  by Tony White

A man will usually use a woman as a trophy because of his own insecurities and magical thinking as this diagram shows. He has doubts about his own worth and OKness.

Men, women and attractionRead More

Category: Relationship, society valuesTag: beauty, dating, romance, sexual attaraction

Christmas leisure time

December 24, 2014 //  by Tony White

The teenager is meant to learn how to make wise use of his leisure time. This is psychologically important because it reflects the development of the Free Child ego state in the personality.

Christmas leisure timeRead More

Category: Social development, society values, teenagerTag: Free child, leisure, teenager

Smacking children and the power differential

December 23, 2014 //  by Tony White

I am not arguing for or against laws about smacking of children. What I am saying is that at some point it has to stop. Using the law to take away more power from the parents simply leaves a child feeling more insecure.

Smacking children and the power differentialRead More

Category: child development, society valuesTag: children, power, smacking

Reverse psychology as a therapeutic approach

December 11, 2014 //  by Tony White

I had refused to engage her RC therapy and instead suggested some Free Child activity we could do. Maybe that had allowed her to at last discover that her Free Child didn’t want to smoke anymore.

Reverse psychology as a therapeutic approachRead More

Category: Addiction, Child ego state, Dependency, PsychotherapyTag: addiction, drug, rebellious child, smoking, therapy

Working with the Conforming Child, Rebellious Child and Free Child ego states

December 6, 2014 //  by Tony White

In essence you begin to gain a bit of respect. If the Rebellious Child starts to
respect the counsellor as a person, then the individual becomes more receptive to
the therapeutic benefits of the counselling.

Working with the Conforming Child, Rebellious Child and Free Child ego statesRead More

Category: Child ego state, Psychotherapy, teenagerTag: Ego states, rebellion, therapy

Adolescence, collectivism and individualism

December 2, 2014 //  by Tony White

Of course this has significant implications for therapists in countries like Australia. We have long been indoctrinated by the theories of Margaret Mahler and John Bowlby who both adopt a very individualistic approach in their theories. It would seem wise to be much more understanding of the communal family structures.

Adolescence, collectivism and individualismRead More

Category: family, society values, teenagerTag: family, teenager

Two models of adolescent development

November 6, 2014 //  by Tony White

First, this is better for the parents (which in turn is better for the children) because there is usually more support readily available. Second, from an attachment theory point of view it is better if children are raised in a polymatric family rather than a monomatric family.

Two models of adolescent developmentRead More

Category: family, society values, teenagerTag: adolescence, collectivism, family structure, individualism

To go, where no man has gone before

November 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

It seems people like the whale sitter are the sign of a healthy society. A sign there are people in our society who will – Go where no man has gone before!

To go, where no man has gone beforeRead More

Category: experimentation, Social development, society valuesTag: adventure, whale

Teenagers, death and dying

October 25, 2014 //  by Tony White

Even in death, suicide and murder there is still a childlike innocence, because they are still childlike thinkers to some degree.

Teenagers, death and dyingRead More

Category: experimentation, suicide, teenagerTag: murder, suicide, teen killers

Understanding the opposite sex.

October 22, 2014 //  by Tony White

Carl Jung was big on this idea. He said that a husband learns to see the women’s perspective because over time he introjects the wife’s personality into his own.

Understanding the opposite sex.Read More

Category: Marriage, Psychotherapy, RelationshipTag: female, male, Marriage

The family secret

October 14, 2014 //  by Tony White

The therapeutic response is clear. Get the family secret exposed and this can change family dynamics, quite profoundly at times.

The family secretRead More

Category: counselling, Eating disorder, family, systems theoryTag: family dynamics, family secret, family structure, Family therapy

Psychological strokes

October 12, 2014 //  by Tony White

Transactional analysis theory of strokes is central to the basics of the theory

Psychological strokesRead More

Category: child development, parenting, PersonalityTag: negative strokes, strokes, Transactional analysis

Please me driver

October 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

Please me driver and personality

Please me driverRead More

Category: child development, PersonalityTag: compliance, driver, please me

Drivers & life script

October 4, 2014 //  by Tony White

Characteristics of drivers in the life script

Drivers & life scriptRead More

Category: Personality, TheoryTag: Drivers, life script, Transactional analysis

Child psychotherapy – competition

September 25, 2014 //  by Tony White

This is one of those articles where you begin writing something and end up writing about something completely different. I was going to write about children and black and white thinking but ended up writing about a recent sessions I did with two children and their mother.

Child psychotherapy – competitionRead More

Category: counselling, ego states, Life position, parentingTag: Child psychotherapy, competition, Free child, Parenting

Black and white thinking – Normal and abnormal.

September 24, 2014 //  by Tony White

The literature on black and white thinking often carries some confusion about the explanation of what it is. Or more correctly what are the underlying psychological causes that result in a person displaying this childlike type of thinking.

Black and white thinking – Normal and abnormal.Read More

Category: child development, Child ego state, dissociation, ego statesTag: A1 ego state, adult ego state, Black and white thinking, borderline personality, cognitive development

The four Cs model of relationships

September 21, 2014 //  by Tony White

If two people can at times be caring and considerate of the other party that is a very good thing in a long term friendship (marriage). Random acts of kindness, unsolicited, can generate so much good will.

The four Cs model of relationshipsRead More

Category: Marriage, Personality, RelationshipTag: adult ego state, caring, Marriage

Adolescence – the leaving home stage of development

September 20, 2014 //  by Tony White

When marriage occurs one marries the individual person and also marries their family structure all their attachments and relationships as well.

Adolescence – the leaving home stage of developmentRead More

Category: Addiction, child development, Eating disorder, identity, Marriage, teenagerTag: adolescence, child development, teenager

The Demon sub personality (Aka Lillith)

September 18, 2014 //  by Tony White

The therapist needs to build a special kind of relational contract with it over a period of time, and regularly maintain that contact in the therapeutic process. One has to go along with its destructiveness at times which can require some very wily and shrewd therapeutic interventions.

The Demon sub personality (Aka Lillith)Read More

Category: identity, Personality, PsychotherapyTag: counselling, demon, Ego states, life script, psychotherapy

The psychological need for violent images – Part 2

September 9, 2014 //  by Tony White

This blog post follows on from the previous one titled, “The psychological need for violent images.” In that it was proposed that humans have a natural inbuilt psychological mechanism that allows them to desensitise to offensive and distressing images. Humans will desensitise quite quickly to violent images. If one sees violence a few times then …

The psychological need for violent images – Part 2Read More

Category: Uncategorized

The psychological need for violent images

August 21, 2014 //  by Tony White

The human psyche is no different. When we see violent images we naturally desensitise and after recuperation we come back mentally stronger. It all a matter of degree.

The psychological need for violent imagesRead More

Category: child development, Social developmentTag: desensitisation, violence

Suicide and the average man

August 17, 2014 //  by Tony White

The Don’t exist injunction is different in that it is a belief a child takes on in childhood. The child basically comes to the conclusion that its own death is a viable solution to a problem.

Suicide and the average manRead More

Category: parenting, Personality, suicideTag: Ego states, suicide, thanatos

Suicide and self destructiveness

August 16, 2014 //  by Tony White

Is there any difference in the self destructive motivations of these two men?

Suicide and self destructivenessRead More

Category: suicideTag: self destruction, suicide

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The website is being rebuilt at the moment. Thank you for your patience and many apologies for any inconvenience.

Recent Posts

  • Mature love, immature love and the teenager
  • Embrace the homeless
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  • Identification – Post 2
  • Identification – Post 1
  • Self control. Therapeutic implications
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 4
  • Adult ego state strengthening – Post 3
  • Adult ego state strengthening – post 2
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  • Working with the homeless in 2020
  • The politics of diagnosis.
  • Schizoid personality type
  • Demon subpersonality in nightmares
  • The life of a PK
  • Contracting in psychotherapy
  • Client’s chair in the therapy room – Part 2

Recent Comments

  • Supriya Rajagopalan on The shadow
  • R on The shadow
  • Mat on The Demon sub personality (Aka Lillith)
  • Misti Harrison on Death anxiety
  • Naomi Wheeler on The life of a PK
  • Workshop on the demon sub personality. | Tony White on The shadow
  • Colin Ogdon on Contracting in psychotherapy
  • Nataliia on The client’s chair in the therapy room.
  • Colin Ogdon on Is it OK for a therapist to be proud of a client’s achievements?
  • Workshop on the demon sub personality in Kiev. | Tony White on The Demon sub personality (Aka Lillith)

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